I saw my my father’s funeral in a dream…
He was shrouded in white. Lying there’s so still.
My heart was shattering into a million pieces.
There was family around waiting to take him to his final resting place. My mum sat in shock.
No sooner had his body been lifted I awoke.
Why did I have this dream?
As his funeral was nothing like my dream. It was thousands of miles away.
I was nowhere…I did not see his shrouded body. I did not say any final goodbyes.
I did not see his lifeless body.
Even though I’m sad….I will never wish it to be any other way.
How long has it been since I last wrote?
I really don’t know. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say,I just feel like I’ve lost my voice.
Life goes on, we are so busy with day to day stuff.
Each day brings new challenges, each day we grow. I learn more about myself.I see the future in my children’s eyes. It both excites me and scares me at the same time. I’ve come so far…I read through my previous posts.
I felt all that pain and heartache….it’s all there, but I’m over the hill. I’ve conquered the worst of my grief.
And yet I stand today knowing that I’m missing something.
I need to find a new purpose in my life. My kids are just a little older. It’s been easier,my baby is not a baby anymore. She’s an intelligent, feisty soul that will start big school next year.
I have time to find myself again.
How time passes…it amazes me.
40 is supposed to be the new 30!