I’ve just read a brilliant book called Riding the Samoosa Express…which is a compilation of stories Indian woman in South Africa have written in regard to their experience in meeting prospective spouses, and their own experiences in marriage and life in general.
Zaheera Jina has done a remarkable job in putting such thoughtful experiences together. It was heartwarming to read these ladies deepest thoughts and the hardships that they have overcome.
Yet when I completed the book I was left with a new found distaste for the practice of the so called Samoosa run.
It’s a practice of a “boy” with his family visit a girl….she serves tea and samoosas and is paraded. They judge her looks,her height, is she fair or is she fat….if she is educated, will she be too smart for her own good.
Thereafter the boy spends a few minutes chatting to the girl privately…to get to know her.
In this time he will decide if he will propose and then marry her.
In the week or so that follows the girls will wait and hear if he likes her or not ….
What! Is she’s not good enough, pretty enough,thin enough, fair enough!!!!!!
Does her family not own the right house or the right cars!!
If she’s known to have had a previous relationship than she is soiled goods….
Yet no one looks at the boy. He after all is in the market for a bride. And he is choosing.
The girl does get to say yes or no after the proposal….but i think it is belittling her integrity as a human being. It’s selling her worth short by giving him so much power over her future.
Now will someone please explain to me why is this acceptable. Why do we allow our daughter, sisters….us to be paraded like cattle at an auction?
Are we not worthy of self respect?
Why do we allow our daughters to be humiliated and have their self esteem further eroded by this archaic practic?
I do not and never will see this as a necessary part of life.
Even though I do not have any alternative to this whole process, I do hope that I never have to be a part of it.
I have two beautiful daughters….I do not know what lays ahead in their future. But I do pray that Allah guides them to their perfect spouses.