Rather disturbing news.

I received a rather disturbing text the other day. One of my patients needed to cancel her 4 D scan as she had miscarried over the weekend.
I only see patients between 27-32 weeks. So this was a late term loss. I really felt bad for her. As I had scanned her at 16 wks,and we saw a beautiful little girl.
I later learnt that she had suffered a uteral abruption, she went to a trauma department at a private clinic when she started feeling pain but was treated for gastro. The staff apparently struggled to find a heart beat but at no time was a sonar requested.
She transferred to another private clinic the next morning where her own Gynea discovered the rupture. The baby had died and the patient had suffered major blood loss.
She could have died.
Now I ask how can this happen in a private clinic with state of the art equipment? With apparently world class doctors. This is NOT at a government hospital.
What is happening to the quality of health care in South Africa.
A travesty.
Those doctors will never be held responsible for their incompetence,and will probably do worse on another night.
And this poor woman will live with her loss forever.

I’m Forty

I turned forty a few weeks ago,and I feel great.
I had a friend over and we spent a day at a spa,which was absolutely perfect.
I haven’t blogged in a while…mainly because I’ve been busy but also because I really have been feeling blessed.
Turning the big 40 has been enlightening. I did not feel depressed or tearful.
Instead I say bring it on!
I missed mum, and more so my dad. I have been thinking a lot of him lately. And I know he would have been happy for me. I feel like I’ve climbed over the hill…the hill whose rocks kept me awake at night. Those stumbling blocks that were holding me back.
I miss them, but my life will go on. I feel them close in my heart..never far.
I am at peace because my life is rich with love and laughter.
I have an amazing family.

I would never had guessed 20 yrs ago that I’d be here now.
But I would not change it for the world.

Happy Mother’s Day

I woke this morning with an extremely heavy heart. The first Mother’s Day without mum around…
I didn’t miss her anymore today than any other day. But yes I have been feeling out of sorts during the last week. And I do think its because of the constant reminders of Mother’s Day.

The day came and went and I survived.
I’ve been thinking about my loss, I have no parents. And I do feel empty and sad often.
But at the same time I am so grateful for all that I do have. I have a loving husband,three
beautiful children,a beautiful home and amazing relatives that make me feel cherished always.

I think of all those that have lost so much more,who endure so much more.
I am grateful.

I’m a SAHM

My mother was a stay at home mom. Never worked a day in her life. When I was younger,a teenager, I always thought that must have been the most boring life ever.
I was never going to be a SAHM. I envisioned myself as this working mother who always had it all together.
I spent almost a total of 7 yrs studying. First becoming a radiographer…I loved the adrenaline rush of working in trauma. It was really a learning curve. I met some wonderful people and saw a side of South Africa that I never new existed.
It was between 1992-1997 that I worked at the then Johannesburg Gen. Train violence was rife..and rarely a day went by without at least one stab or gunshot victim coming in..
We all grew up in those years. Made mistakes and most importantly learnt from them.

I got married and carried on working,but all that changed when my son was born. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to experience his first word,his first step and most importantly I wanted to know him. I wanted to understand his personality.
I studied a BComm HR degree during my pregnancy and his first years. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. And yet my heart was at home with my son and daughter who arrived a few years later.
As any parent who looks after kids 24/7 will tell you,it is hard work, frustrating and fulfilling all at the same time.
I do envy the working mums who can go to work and have prosperous careers. But I also know that I am so lucky to have the opportunity to spend so much quality time with my kids. I get to fetch them from school,sit with them whilst they have lunch, and just chat about their days. I love seeing them grow up before my eyes.
And whilst they may think that I must have the most boring life ever…I would not change it for the world.

Just a quick add on….I help out at a Gynea practice for about 8 hours a week… It keeps me sane.
And I do appreciate all the help I get from family babysitters:-)

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