Do you know what it’s like to anticipate an experience for years, to relive it in your mind a thousand times. I imagined seeing Jannatul Baqi where my father lies a thousand times….thinking about my emotions. Finding closure….
Yet being there …smelling the Arabian air..feeling the soil under my feet, was nothing like I imagined.
As my flight touched down, …I cried like never before. I cried knowing that these were my father’s last sights. I cried knowing it was the last time my parents were together. They were happy.
I cried because this is where it all began. I cried because I knew that this was where it all ended.
As we approached the city, my heart ached and sang all at the same time.
I was here…how long I waited.
I was finally here.
There should be a manual available for people that explains how one should react and deal with adversity.
How to cope when faced with an ailing parent,a chronically ill child or any other heart wrenching experience any person needs to go through in life.Because often we find ourselves in these situations.
We do our best and yet we are left feeling guilt. Feeling that we have not done our best.
Often these doubts surface from deep within ourselves, and sometimes it’s because we overhear snippets of whispered conversations.
People are very quick to pass judgement!
They would have done this,or that. Taken the ill person to the best specialist doctor. And in their care everything would have been better.
We all know these type of people. Sometimes we are these people.
Yet it is only the families experiencing these hardships that could ever know their day to day trials.
So next time any of us think we know better take step back and rather shut up.
To the mum in my community who lost her 8yrs old son, may Allah give you the strength to cope. And as a mother believe that you did your best.
Who do people see when they see me?
I am their friend,confidante or am i just an associate.
I am a mother,a wife,an aunt, a sister, a cousin and a colleague.
I am a different person to all those around me.
I wear a mask to hide my fear…I wear a mask to hide my tears.
Yet I wear my joy for all to see.
I am so many to all those around me.
Yet I am no longer anyone’s child or daughter.